How a Top Gym in New York Assaults Clients
Think about all your favorite movies when the hero gets captured by the bad guy. Remember how the room looks, dark, grungy, and has the look of death. There is a place located in New York that resembles this. It is called Tone House. As they put it, they are”the first ever extreme, athletic based group fitness studio aimed at unleashing the inner athlete in everyone”. I have first hand experience in being tortured at Tone House. Knowing this was my first time, I felt like I was stepping into a fight scene from The Hunger Games. The stairway that led to the obstacle course resembled the Red Light District in Amsterdam, dark red lights that illuminated the pathway. The feeling of fear had overtaken me briefly. This was only because I was stepping out my comfort zone. I thought my conditioning levels were adequate. I was wrong, really really wrong. When your personal trainer tells you to have a workout partner, you should listen. Why? because you have somebody there to push you. You can’t simulate practice for the real thing. When I mean the real thing, you can’t simulate your conditioning workouts on your own to prepare you for Tone House. I have been working out for more then a decade. This place made me feel like a teenager who got drunk the first time. You know, huddled up in the corner on the verge of puking. Eventually one of the longest hours of my life came to an end. I surprisingly felt good and motivated after it was done. It’s like getting tackled the first time playing football. After the first hit, the pain wears off and you get stronger as time goes on. Tone House was nominated for one of the most innovative fitness gyms in the USA in 2015, https://greatist.com/fitness/most-innovative-gyms. Here are 5 reasons you should let Tone House kick your a**.
5 Reason You Should Let Tone House Kick Your A**
1. The Challenge – There are many challenges here at Tone House. You will face some that are mental and physical. Mentally, your ego and security levels will be tested. What better way to challenge yourself and ego by working out with men who look like they came from a “300” movie, physiques looking like granite statues. Whatever ego you have created because you have a six pack should be left at the door. All the guys in the class have well defined ab muscles. This is where I learned that a nice looking set of abs means nothing if you can’t use them correctly. As far as the women, they are all built like Serena Williams, are just as strong as you, and will run circles around you. There was a moment where a saw a girl pass me three times in a particular drill line. This drill line consisted of us leaping around like frogs on a pond. One of the many moments when I thought I was going to puke, a saw this young lady effortlessly complete this drill. It was all a blur. Physically, your limits will be pushed. Some of the workouts reminded me of the army without the evil drill sargent telling you how you suck at life. You have been warned, your insecurities about your body will be challenged mentally and physically.
2. The Trainers – Tone House has trainers who eat, breath, and live the lifestyle that they preach. All the trainers look like professional athletes. You won’t find one trainer here who has an average physique. Even the front desk receptionist has a impressive physique. Two trainers stood out to me. The first trainer was Evan. The man had endless amounts of energy, doing random back flips from time to time. He darn near did the entire class with us. He looked like an underwear model. As I discovered later, he actually is signed to Wihelmina Models agency. He kept the pace of the class going smooth. During breaks was the only time I was mindful of that. His partner was Tami. I overheard all the guys saying how mean she was. The stories about her rang around the men’s locker room like a ghost story. All that fear about her had disappeared briefly because I was smitten by her beauty. And poof, that brief fearless moment vanished when I heard her yelling at the men in her class to “man up”. Her physique was strong as her energy. Her shoulders were shaped like an NFL linebacker’s, legs like a sprinter, chiseled jawline, and a scowl that would murder you if looks could kill. Two different styles but both trainers will not leave you unchallenged.
3. The Recovery Process – I did not get to experience this feature when I went to Tone House. I only had the luxury of getting tortured during the workout. If I had to imagine what recovery would be like here, I am imagining somebody giving you a massage with hands that feel like sand paper. The recovery process is a brand new product and was unavailable during my experience. This doesn’t mean I can’t tell you how it works. As I stated earlier, Tone House is all about training you like an athlete. These guys don’t play around. A part of training like an athlete also means to recover like one. They have many options to recover. I don’t know if there is a hyperbolic chamber but they do have a device that massages your legs. It helps with the fluid build up from the workout. Trust me, you will need it. I remember almost falling when I was done. In the words of Charlie Murphy from the Chapelle Show after the Rick James stomp down, “Legs look like linguini”. You can also go old school Rocky style and just sit in a ice cold tub. A lot of gyms do not offer this recovery option. It is becoming more and more relevant as the times are changing.
4. The Comradery – The hard part is getting through the workout. The best thing about Tone House is the group involvement. The moment I stepped into the place everyone knew it was my first time. Everyone was helpful until it was time to get down to business. Friendly demeanors turned competitive once we stepped on the obstacle course. Evan the instructor was very encouraging. During an embarrassing moment, I literally dove to the finish line so I didn’t finish last. I was to exhausted to complete it. He helped me up after he laughed with me about my Superman dive. I love hip hop music and I would have to imagine the rest of the class did to. Evan had the hip hop jams cranked up non stop during the entire class. Rapping or singing along with other class members during those painful workouts helped make it easier. When it was all done, we gathered around for a team huddle like athletes do. Tone House is very consistent about making the average person feel like an athlete.
5. The Turf – If you can handle the grueling workouts and enjoyed training like an athlete, sign up for “Turf Wars”. It is Tone House’s version of “Tough Mudder”. Turf Wars takes place on turf lawn near Hudson River Park. Some of the differences are there are no teams and “Turf Wars” resembles more of a military type workout of extreme conditioning. It is every man and woman for themselves. You are competing against highly skilled and trained athletes. If you have competitive juices flowing within you, then this is for you. Regardless of how well you do, this should be done for the experience. Everyone is provided uniforms. The common theme of being an athlete is highlighted again.
Here is a more in depth look at Tone House
I really enjoyed my experience at Tone House. It really made me look at fitness differently. This experience was humbling. I overestimated my fitness levels. There is so much room for improvement. The trainers and members displayed some impressive athletic feats and physiques. The bar has been set. Like many, I used to lift like a bodybuilder. As a traveler, I now exercise like an athlete. Bodybuilders need gyms, travelers who train like athletes only need what is around them, the world and their bodies.
- Eric L. Bolden
- E The Traveling Trainer